The title comes from the poem “On Children” by Kahlil Gibran, who is among the most frequently cited poets globally. Born in Lebanon and later an American creator and artist (1883–1931), he gained widespread recognition. His bestselling collection of poetry titled “The Prophet,” published by well-known American publisher Alfred A. Knopf in 1923, features this particular piece.

A lot of content on social media has tackled the strained connection between two-time Olympic gold medal winner Carlos Edriel Yulo and his mom. Online viewers have shared numerous opinions and evaluations about them, often siding with the mother and making statements detrimental to her son’s reputation.

After clinching dual gold medals at the Paris Olympics, Yulo gained international stardom in artistic gymnastics—a discipline where the Philippines isn’t typically renowned. This remarkable achievement earned him both acclaim and wealth; however, it also attracted harsh criticism from online commentators. Consequently, numerous social media entries emerged accusing him of being “walang utang na loob” (unappreciative or failing to acknowledge past kindnesses) towards his biological mother.

I prefer not to join the intense debates surrounding them. Those who aren’t thoroughly acquainted with both the mother and her son often engage in severe criticism over what they deem “inappropriate” conduct from either party, revealing the less flattering aspects of their household dynamics. Their familial relations remain unknown to me, so I feel it’s inappropriate for me to make judgments about them.

Being a mother has shown me just how challenging parenthood can be; most of us who chose to start our own families didn’t receive any intensive training in raising kids or mastering basic child care skills. Back in my day, resources like social and traditional media weren’t at our disposal for guidance; instead, we had to rely solely on ourselves to navigate the difficulties that came along once we took on the role of parents.

Many Asian and Filipino families tend to embed the value of “repaying” our parents for the sacrifices they went through in raising their children. Filial piety is a distinctive feature of Asian cultures, and disrespectful children are chastised because they go against this tradition. Part of our filial obligation to our parents is to repay them for giving birth to us, in terms of both material and emotional support. But come to think of it, children did not demand to be born. While some mothers may claim that a love child is the result of an amorous “mistake,” having children is a consensual decision between two parents. Truly, as Gibran wrote, our children are “the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself; they come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”

Certainly, our kids are destined for a future that no mother or father can experience firsthand. Parents serve merely as tools or conduits through which their children journey into a tomorrow that remains out of reach for them, “not even in [their] wildest dreams.”

It doesn’t imply that we leave our children once they’re born. Instead, we must raise them with love and additional attention so they’ll be prepared for a future where we won’t be present anymore. Essentially, this sums up parenthood. We should guide them until they can walk independently and turn into who they aspire to be, rather than whom we wish them to be. Each of them has their own thoughts and undoubtedly can make their own choices as adults.

During their developmental stages, children ought to be equipped to tackle the challenges they encounter as they journey toward adulthood. It’s essential that they learn how to endure troughs and obstacles throughout these phases. This preparatory phase needs to encompass fundamental aspects of positive social conduct such as respecting others, alongside other widely recognized societal standards. However, one shouldn’t impose our own thoughts upon them; despite sharing certain physical and mental traits inherited from us, they remain distinct individuals with their own identities.

As a parent, I anticipate that my kids will honor me just as I honor them for the choices they make—especially once they reach adulthood. However, respect must be gained over time; it can’t simply be demanded from others, not even from one’s offspring. Throughout those crucial developmental stages, if youngsters frequently witness their parents verbally attacking others, these experiences get deeply ingrained in their impressionable minds. Consequently, they might replicate this conduct among friends or elders alike.

Gibran’s verse about children serves as an advisory for mothers and fathers on handling their offspring; kids are divine gifts bestowed upon them. Children didn’t choose to enter this world. As parents, we yearn for fragments of ourselves to endure beyond our lifetime. These enduring pieces should shape tomorrow. Our progeny belong to us yet stand independent; they must determine the adult lives they aspire towards.

—————

Comments to rcguiam@gmail.com