oleh admin | Feb 6, 2025 | children, children and families, education, parenting, technology
Have you ever wondered why parents feel challenged observing that their children struggle even though they appear to have a more “comfortable” upbringing compared to ours? When you compare your own experiences with those of your child and assume that young people nowadays lead relatively easy lives, perhaps this comparison holds part of the issue. It’s clear that modern advancements bring about greater convenience—particularly through technologies like the internet which simplify many tasks. Reflecting upon our past, we recall writing assignments longhand or using type-writers complete with correction fluid for mistakes, physically visiting libraries to navigate book sections via the Dewey system, and waiting weeks or months for replies from correspondents through traditional postal services. Seeing such ease of access to interaction, exploration, and information now available to our offspring can indeed suggest simpler times; however, reality presents both advantages and challenges.
Rapid and extensive knowledge comes with both benefits and challenges. Indeed, life has become easier in many ways; tasks that once took us hours can now be completed within mere minutes by others. However, this doesn’t imply they have more free time compared to previous generations, just as advancements in computing did not reduce our working hours. Today’s students face an even greater academic workload than those from earlier times. For instance, scientific understanding today differs significantly—and is far more intricate—than what existed during my schooling years. In the past, learning consisted primarily of studying the nine planets (which included the erstwhile planet Pluto, may it rest peacefully). Nowadays, subjects such as physics delve into complex theories including string theory, wormholes, and parallel universes. Mathematical procedures are also being instructed quite differently nowadays. Our comprehension of genetics and neural plasticity has advanced so greatly that I fear the education I received might soon become outdated. Whenever I inquire about assignments from my secondary-level pupils, they often discuss developing comprehensive business plans, participating in technology design courses, and conducting analyses which were traditionally reserved for higher education levels.
Unique Paraphrase:
Unparalleled accessibility also implies that children might encounter social scenarios and hurdles before they’re emotionally prepared to handle them. Consider, as an illustration, having constant connection with peers through smartphones. In earlier times, our social exchanges were confined by physical settings—once at home, such interactions typically ceased. However, online connectivity eradicates these usual boundaries (aside from power outages and lack of battery charge), making it exceptionally challenging to impose restrictions on screen time for youngsters since the sole barrier between them and their friends is now essentially just parental oversight.
Greater social connectivity also leads to increased social disputes.
Harassment and various types of social distress, including isolation, mockery, and embarrassment, trail you everywhere today. In the past, one might find solace knowing that their harassers couldn’t reach them beyond school grounds, or rely on the fact that an adult, perhaps even your dad confronting someone who dared to use the house phone to hassle you, offered some protection. Now these threats loom constantly without respite because those barriers are gone. This situation has emerged fairly recently. Young people now endure worldwide ridicule which can be particularly challenging to overcome emotionally. Their young minds aren’t equipped for this kind of pressure. Moreover, parents struggle too since we didn’t grow up under similar conditions and thus lack experience navigating our children through today’s intricate landscape of peer relationships.
Our conventional understanding of parenthood is based on the belief that parents possess greater wisdom and thus hold superior judgment. This perspective leads us to adopt a mentoring approach to parenting, viewing ourselves as educators and navigators for our kids. When errors occur, we offer corrections; when they falter, we steer them back onto the proper path. It falls upon us to determine acceptable behavior and assign corresponding repercussions. Given that parents typically have accumulated more expertise and abilities compared to their offspring, this mentor-style guidance appears quite fitting.
Nonetheless, we must recognize that kids might be acquiring far greater insights into our world compared to adults. Thanks to new information gained from schooling and their innate ease with modern technologies, parents often feel like they’re always trying to keep up. Without taking the initiative to show interest in—and educate ourselves about—the environments where they spend most of their time—like Roblox, Discord, Snapchat, TikTok—we won’t effectively guide them through social interactions online. Furthermore, without understanding the intricate emotional responses these platforms evoke, how will we support them in managing their feelings?
Raising kids is an eye-opening journey. First off, let’s accept that today’s youth inhabit a completely distinct universe compared to ours, filled with distinctive hurdles. Our past experiences may fall short when trying to steer them through these new obstacles. Admitting that we’re venturing into uncharted waters isn’t just acceptable—it’s increasingly necessary nowadays. Instead of assuming we have all the answers, adopting such an attitude pushes us towards improving ourselves, doing thorough research, and seeking assistance whenever needed. That’s how we become effective parents striving to excel.
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aatuazon@up.edu.ph
oleh admin | Jan 18, 2025 | caregiving, culture, elderly care, father child relationship, parenting
Even with the difficulties of providing care, there’s an elegance in recognizing that fulfilling one’s duty to parents isn’t optional but essential: roles and duties are well-defined.
For quite some time now, my sister and I have taken on new roles within our family. After my father retired a few years back and began experiencing declining health, the dynamics of our relationships changed significantly.
Our dad was our very own superhero, cap or no cap. He stood tall as an embodiment of self-reliance, offering us generous support through his wisdom and counsel. Moreover, he blazed new trails by being the trailblazer within his family—leaving Hong Kong for higher education and becoming the inaugural tenured professor in their lineage. Yet unexpectedly, we’ve found ourselves stepping into different shoes; our positions as offspring have shifted considerably.
My sister and I have taken on the responsibility of caregivers. As my dad and his spouse adjusted to their new circumstances, my sibling and I have created a fresh routine working together like a well-oiled duo—handling all of Dad’s doctor visits, transportation needs, and food delivery services. Additionally, I’ve been responsible for grocery shopping and organizing entertainment options at our nearby seniors’ center for him, such as bingo sessions.
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During my peaceful interludes, I grappled with the part I believed I ought to assume within a structure where the distinctions between positions had grown hazy. This fresh role didn’t sit well with me; occasionally, it felt more like a duty than a choice.
It was an understood yet unsaid rule that, since I grew up as a child of immigrants, I should respect my elders, particularly my parents.
xiao shun
being dutiful and respectful. This feeling would arise every time I disregarded a request from my parents, be it for fetching groceries from the supermarket or heeding their guidance.
”
It doesn’t matter whether it’s small or not.
“? (‘Are you obedient to your parents?’) was a query accompanied by the motion of a wagging finger.” Unlike in the West,
filial piety
In Chinese and certain other Asian societies, significant importance is placed on showing deference to elder authorities and upholding familial dignity.
Unaware of what was truly happening, I witnessed deep respect and devotion when observing how my father and his brothers and sisters looked after my grandmother following my grandfather’s passing. Each one would take turns visiting her and contribute to ensuring she received proper attention. Additionally, an uncle and aunt have been taking care of their elder parents—affectionately referred to as ‘the super seniors’—for many years now; this includes everything from scheduling doctors’ visits to cooking meals.
As mentioned, taking care of parents and other older relatives goes beyond cultural boundaries. Across various cultures and religious beliefs, looking after senior citizens continues to be significant. A majority of my Jewish acquaintances would absolutely refuse to consider putting their parents in a nursing home. Similarly, numerous American friends also take responsibility for their aging parents. Such acts reflect the norms we uphold in this era.
Many individuals in their 40s and 50s find themselves caught between looking after their children and taking care of their aging parents, managing busy schedules filled with responsibilities towards their careers, personal relationships, and even pets. Approximately 23 percent of U.S. adults fall into this category.
“sandwich generation”
, looking after both elderly parents and children under 18, with people in their 40s being the most likely group to be in this situation, as reported by the Pew Research Centre.
In reflecting on
xiao shun,
I now understand that this concept occupies a distinctive position within Eastern culture, particularly where reverence and compliance are integral parts of familial dynamics. Arguably, it serves as the foundation of Chinese households, shaping both family and societal hierarchies. This is why my father—the firstborn—continued to look after his younger brothers and sisters even when they were adults, including giving them red envelopes.
covering the costs of the family dinners
.
This framework holds an undeniable solidity. Embracing the idea that respecting one’s parents is non-negotiable rather than optional reveals a certain elegance. Responsibilities and duties within this dynamic are well-defined. Personally, I am convinced that maintaining this respect remains crucial even when faced with the difficulties of care-giving. This isn’t merely about adhering to custom; it also serves as a means to express appreciation for everything those preceding generations have bestowed upon us.
I’ve loved taking care of Dad and find pleasure in all aspects of it, from the essential tasks to the more enjoyable ones. In October, I brought him to the yearly “senior prom,” which is organized by our local Office for the Aging for seniors in our area. Dad thoroughly enjoyed himself, meeting new people and dancing along with the tunes. Seeing his laughter filled me with happiness.
My sister has chosen to create special occasions like “dinner with Dad” or “breakfast with Dad,” during which they enjoy homemade meals and casual conversations. These moments together have brought us immense value. In return, our father shares tales from his childhood along with valuable insights, enriching our family’s legacy with these precious narratives.
After every gathering, he sends a text saying “Thank you for coming to see me.” Such gratitude isn’t required. I’m merely fulfilling my duties as both a daughter and someone of Chinese-American heritage. My dad simplifies things—he’s amazing and has done so much for us over the years.
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The article initially appeared on the South ChinaMorning Post (www.scmp.com), which is the premier source for news coverage of China and Asia.
Copyright © 2025. South China Morning Post Publishers Ltd. All rights reserved.
oleh admin | Jan 5, 2025 | children, children and families, everyday life tips and hacks, parenting, pet advice & tips
Lifehack My ID
– Bagaimana cara menghadapi anak yang sedang tantrum?
Beberapa cara untuk menghadapi anak dengan perilaku tantrum meliputi langkah-langkah tertentu yang harus diambil.
Ayo kita lihat 10 saran untuk menghadapi masa tangisan anak!
1. Tetap Tenang
Jangan terpancing emosi.
Respons yang damai dari orangtua dapat membuat anak merasa lebih terlindungi dan mampu mengendalikan emosinya.
Ambil nafas panjang-panjang bila mulai merasa kesal.
2. Kenali Penyebab Tantrum
Sakit Perut atau Capek: Pastikan keperluan pokok si kecil sudah tercukupi.
Terasa frustasi: Mungkin anak-anak mengalami hambatan dalam menyampaikan apa yang mereka inginkan atau menyesuaikan diri dengan kondisi baru.
Jika tantrum timbul karena keinginan mendapat pengakuan, usahakan menyediakan perhatian ekstra saat momen yang sesuai.
3. Hindari Mengikuti Kemauan yang Tak Wajar
Apabila buah hati mengamuk lantaran menuntut hal yang tak kunjung kamu izinkan, jangan berubah pikiran dan pertahankan pendirianmu.
Sampaikan penjelasannya dengan nada yang lembut, contohnya, “Ibu mengerti kau mau permen, tetapi saat ini adalah waktu untuk makan siang.”
4. Alihkan Perhatian
Usahakan untuk memindahkan fokus si kecil pada hal lain yang menyenangkan, misalnya mainan favorit, buku cerita, atau hobi mereka.
5. Validasi Perasaan Anak
Terima kasih atas perasaannya dengan berkata, “Mama paham kamu merasa kesal,” atau “Kamu bersedih karena mainanmu telah rusak.”
Ini membuat anak merasa dipahami dan lebih gampang untuk menenangkan dirinya.
6. Hindari Hukuman Fisik
Hukuman fisik tidak efektif dan dapat memperburuk perilaku anak.
Fokus pada pendekatan yang mendukung dan positif.
7. Ajaran Tentang Pengendalian Emosi
Setelah sang buah hati menjadi tenang, bimbing mereka dengan metode alternatif dalam menyampaikan emosi, misalnya melalui percakapan, melukis, ataupun memakai frasa dasar semacam “Saya kesal” atau “Saya murung”.
8. Bangunlah Suatu Rutinitas yang Stabil
Anak akan merasa lebih tenang dan nyaman ketika memiliki jadwal harian yang konsisten.
Tetapkan jadwal untuk makanan, istirahat, dan kegiatan bermain secara teratur sepanjang hari.
9. Berikan Saat Tenang Sejenak
Apabila tantrumnya cukup panjang, biarkan sang buah hati memiliki waktu sendiri agar bisa meredakan emosinya sementara itu pastikan dia dalam kondisi yang aman.
Anda dapat mengatakan, “Bunda akan menunggu di sana hingga kau siap berbicara.”
10. Puji Perilaku Positif
Setelah si kecil berhasil menenangkan diri, ucapkan penghargaan seperti, “Kamu telah dapat tetap tenang, luar biasa!”, agar memperkuat tingkah laku baik di kemudian hari.
(*)
oleh admin | Agu 20, 2024 | children, children and families, parent child relationships, parenting, young people
The title comes from the poem “On Children” by Kahlil Gibran, who is among the most frequently cited poets globally. Born in Lebanon and later an American creator and artist (1883–1931), he gained widespread recognition. His bestselling collection of poetry titled “The Prophet,” published by well-known American publisher Alfred A. Knopf in 1923, features this particular piece.
A lot of content on social media has tackled the strained connection between two-time Olympic gold medal winner Carlos Edriel Yulo and his mom. Online viewers have shared numerous opinions and evaluations about them, often siding with the mother and making statements detrimental to her son’s reputation.
After clinching dual gold medals at the Paris Olympics, Yulo gained international stardom in artistic gymnastics—a discipline where the Philippines isn’t typically renowned. This remarkable achievement earned him both acclaim and wealth; however, it also attracted harsh criticism from online commentators. Consequently, numerous social media entries emerged accusing him of being “walang utang na loob” (unappreciative or failing to acknowledge past kindnesses) towards his biological mother.
I prefer not to join the intense debates surrounding them. Those who aren’t thoroughly acquainted with both the mother and her son often engage in severe criticism over what they deem “inappropriate” conduct from either party, revealing the less flattering aspects of their household dynamics. Their familial relations remain unknown to me, so I feel it’s inappropriate for me to make judgments about them.
Being a mother has shown me just how challenging parenthood can be; most of us who chose to start our own families didn’t receive any intensive training in raising kids or mastering basic child care skills. Back in my day, resources like social and traditional media weren’t at our disposal for guidance; instead, we had to rely solely on ourselves to navigate the difficulties that came along once we took on the role of parents.
Many Asian and Filipino families tend to embed the value of “repaying” our parents for the sacrifices they went through in raising their children. Filial piety is a distinctive feature of Asian cultures, and disrespectful children are chastised because they go against this tradition. Part of our filial obligation to our parents is to repay them for giving birth to us, in terms of both material and emotional support. But come to think of it, children did not demand to be born. While some mothers may claim that a love child is the result of an amorous “mistake,” having children is a consensual decision between two parents. Truly, as Gibran wrote, our children are “the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself; they come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
Certainly, our kids are destined for a future that no mother or father can experience firsthand. Parents serve merely as tools or conduits through which their children journey into a tomorrow that remains out of reach for them, “not even in [their] wildest dreams.”
It doesn’t imply that we leave our children once they’re born. Instead, we must raise them with love and additional attention so they’ll be prepared for a future where we won’t be present anymore. Essentially, this sums up parenthood. We should guide them until they can walk independently and turn into who they aspire to be, rather than whom we wish them to be. Each of them has their own thoughts and undoubtedly can make their own choices as adults.
During their developmental stages, children ought to be equipped to tackle the challenges they encounter as they journey toward adulthood. It’s essential that they learn how to endure troughs and obstacles throughout these phases. This preparatory phase needs to encompass fundamental aspects of positive social conduct such as respecting others, alongside other widely recognized societal standards. However, one shouldn’t impose our own thoughts upon them; despite sharing certain physical and mental traits inherited from us, they remain distinct individuals with their own identities.
As a parent, I anticipate that my kids will honor me just as I honor them for the choices they make—especially once they reach adulthood. However, respect must be gained over time; it can’t simply be demanded from others, not even from one’s offspring. Throughout those crucial developmental stages, if youngsters frequently witness their parents verbally attacking others, these experiences get deeply ingrained in their impressionable minds. Consequently, they might replicate this conduct among friends or elders alike.
Gibran’s verse about children serves as an advisory for mothers and fathers on handling their offspring; kids are divine gifts bestowed upon them. Children didn’t choose to enter this world. As parents, we yearn for fragments of ourselves to endure beyond our lifetime. These enduring pieces should shape tomorrow. Our progeny belong to us yet stand independent; they must determine the adult lives they aspire towards.
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Comments to rcguiam@gmail.com
oleh admin | Mei 12, 2024 | mother child relationship, motherhood, mothers, parenting, women
MANILA, Philippines – With each passing day, increasingly intricate human activities are being supported, if not entirely handled, through artificial intelligence (AI). However, even the most sophisticated technologies cannot rival the resilience demonstrated by mothers when tackling the multifaceted trials of parenthood. Empowering mothers with the vigor and comfort they require enables them to extend these qualities to their families as well.
How do they manage it? Actress and working mother of three, Dimples Romana, shares her thoughts.
Identify your support network. “Raising three children while holding down a job can be quite challenging. Fortunately, I have wonderful individuals around me—family members and close friends alike,” Dimples mentioned.
Following the birth of her third child two years back, Dimples continues to feel thankful for the tremendous backing provided by her spouse Boyet (“Papa B” to her) who makes sure their children remain healthy and joyful at all times. As she navigates each day, Dimples clings steadfastly to her family and beliefs for guidance.
“Family. They truly are my strength. And prayer. So many, many prayers,” she added.
Establish priorities. Despite the entertainment sector’s constant demand for long hours, Dimples consistently sets aside time for her family.
“Regardless of how hectic my schedule becomes and how unpredictable our shooting timelines get, I ensure that I set aside specific time for my family,” she stated.
She would go as far as advising her relatives not to use their phones during group activities, ensuring everyone remains completely engaged with each other.
“No phones for now, no other distractions. Just them,” she added.
Engage in self-care. Even though being a mom is an around-the-clock responsibility, everyone requires some time off from everything—and everyone.
“Only recently did I learn about this. I was nearly at burnout so I became concerned. It was then that I truly stepped back and evaluated what needed to be accomplished,” she mentioned additionally.
For Dimples, embarking on solitary drives, enjoying dates with herself at cafes and restaurants, and diving into great literature help soothe her mind. Additionally, she consistently pays attention to her spiritual health via prayers and meditations.
Primarily, what helps Dimples maintain her composure with the challenges of motherhood is keeping herself fit and healthy through proper skincare routines, along with consuming necessary supplements and vitamins to remain robust and energetic.
“I trust Actimed Quality Generics, which I purchase from Generika Drugstore. Knowing I’m robust allows me to ensure my family remains healthy as well,” Dimples mentioned additionally.
Keep in mind what makes you enjoy being a mom. For Dimples, the most rewarding part of motherhood is the role itself. However, similar to any profession, parenting comes with its own set of risks and obstacles.
“Life’s difficulties have really changed nowadays. We genuinely must appreciate every day when we see our family being happy, healthy, and safe from any illness or hardship,” Dimples mentioned.
However, what makes the risks worthwhile is the reward that continually reminds Dimples of why she cherishes being a mother.
“It’s about raising kids who can potentially create a more compassionate, secure, and joyful world for everyone,” she emphasized.
