Adolescence is the
Netflix
shows captivating audiences worldwide, everyone drawn into the story of the 13-year-old boy charged with murdering a fellow female student. However, alongside this, it also leads to
powerful watching
, the program casts an alarming spotlight on the troubling impact of social media and chauvinist male content creators on young males.
The previous week, ex-England coach Sir
Gareth Southgate
used the
BBC
‘s esteemed Richard Dimbleby Lecture to criticize “heartless, deceitful, and harmful influencers” exploiting
young men
Online. Instead, he advocated for robust male role models and secure, tangible environments such as community centers for young people.
young people
to flourish and grow.
Omar Akhtar, who works with young people, conducts sessions for teens aged between 13 and 19 at Mahdlo, an OnSide Youth Zone located in Oldham, Greater Manchester.
Manchester
The youth center, among the 15 such centers across the country, boasts nearly 3,000 members. Sir Gareth dropped by earlier this month during his research for his upcoming BBC speech.
READ MORE:
All you need to understand about Season 2 of Adolescence and why it might not succeed
Omar, who has over seven years of experience working with teens, mentioned, “I got chills watching ‘Adolescence.’” He explained that the series’ themes and messages were incredibly potent and brought back numerous recollections of conversations he’s had with the youth he interacts with daily, particularly regarding their experiences growing up under the impact of social media.
This series makes for quite an engaging viewing experience, and parents might have to exercise discretion. However, both teenagers and their parents ought to contemplate watching this because it addresses numerous significant matters. It was delightful having Sir Gareth at our youth center, witnessing a broader discussion emerge from the themes he has brought up.
In this segment, Omar discusses five key points that all parents who have viewed “Adolescence” should be aware of when bringing up teenage sons.
1. Patience is key
From what I’ve observed, boys generally tend to be more reserved when discussing issues that concern them compared to girls. In my role as a youth worker, we’re taught to connect with each young individual based on their current state, invest time in understanding them better, discover their passions, and establish a bond grounded in shared respect and trust. A teenage boy probably won’t immediately share his concerns just because you ask him ‘What’s bothering you?’ Show your genuine interest and care for both who he is and his viewpoints, and subsequently provide him ample time and room to express his emotions.
2. Find an activity
Discovering an activity you both enjoy, such as taking a stroll in a park or the countryside, preparing a meal together in your kitchen, or even playing a round of billiards, can help ease conversations around tough topics. Adolescents often find direct eye contact uncomfortable during serious discussions, which is why engaging in activities like walking alongside one another or cooking side-by-side tends to facilitate more open dialogue compared to facing each other seated at a desk or table. In my role as a youth worker, I encourage teenage boys at our club to participate in enjoyable and energetic pursuits—be it through team sports, scaling the climbing wall, or testing their skills with
boxing
Head to the ring or hit the gym. This can be an excellent method to strengthen your bond and alleviate stress from conversations they may find challenging.
3. It is essential to have male role models.
It’s crucial for adolescent males to have genuine, dependable adult male figures in their lives who exemplify positivity and openness. These mentors may include educators, relatives, youth counselors, or athletic trainers. The youths we engage often lack paternal influences growing up; consequently, before joining our clubs, many do not encounter any significant male role models. Discussing private matters with mothers can feel uncomfortable for these teens, leading them to suppress their feelings. As a result, they tend to withdraw socially and rely more heavily on digital devices like smartphones and platforms such as social media. Inspired by the Andy’s Man Club initiative from last year, we established ‘Guy Time’ sessions within our youth centers. During these times, designated areas were reserved specifically for boys to converse freely with male staff members, enjoy meals together, participate in recreational activities, and unwind. This program proved highly successful and remains an integral part of our offerings moving forward.
4. Listen closely
If a teenager guy shares something with you, make an effort to set aside your personal judgments or biases and simply pay attention. It can be easy to want to cut them off or get sidetracked by things like phone calls, texts, little brothers or sisters, or other distractions vying for your focus. Even though we offer many programs and great amenities here, what the teenagers I interact with value the most is having our undivided time and concentration without interruptions.
5. Real-life is best
Phones and
gaming
Are an integral component of every adolescent boy’s life; however, they should not dominate entirely. According to OnSide’s Generation Isolation study, among teenagers who frequently engage with their mobile devices, over fifty percent express a desire for reduced usage yet feel uncertain about achieving this change. Promoting involvement in sports teams, extracurricular clubs, community engagements, and youth centers assists young males in cultivating self-assurance, interpersonal abilities, forging friendships, and honing leadership qualities. This is evident daily within our sport programs as well as through our center’s teenage young leaders, who assist in mentoring younger kids. Such competencies pave the path toward adult independence, which cannot be fully acquired solely via screens.
See
www.onsideyouthzones.org
for more information.